Lent is quickly passing by and so far so good on the not eating meat on Fridays but that takes a great deal less than the daily good acts. I am supposed to write about what I do on a daily basis but the days just scoot by with everything that is going on in the crazy Redfield household. I am sitting on the couch on a rainy Friday evening so I am going to catch up and get back on track. I will simply go day by day:
On Monday the kids were off and they had a relaxing day with their dad. Trey was playing with his buddy Brian for a good portion of the day. As I was driving home from work Brian's mom dropped Maggie and Trey off at my house and I thought.....hmmmmm. Trey and Brian very seldom get to play together and since this was the only day that Trey would be off during Brian's track out that they could get together I decided to call Alicia. I told her to drop Brian off and I would get the boys to baseball practice. This meant that I would have to adjust my schedule a bit but the boys had a great time and I felt like a super mom. I like when my world seems to match "Leave it to Beaver" with the kids playing and going to practice and Dan cooperating with getting them to practice so we were like the happy divorced sitcom. In the end I think i got as much from that good deed as Alicia did by bringing Brian back to me. She had a class to go to with he husband and the boys go to play and to go to practcie together. It was a good karma breeds good karma kind of day.
On Tuesday things were so busy that I knew that the end of the day would come faster than I could get do my good deed. I was a little worried but the good thing about that is that it forces me to try and think outside of the box. I took the time to write a letter that I had been meaning to write for ages. A friend of my dad's is a lovely WWII Army Airborne Veteran who I met at Fort Bragg years ago when I was pregnant with my son Trey. He had been having trouble getting his reservations taken care of for All American week. I took care of the resevations very easily by stopping by the 82nd Airborne HQ and when he got to Fort Bragg he came by to thank me for helping him and his fellow veteran. I introduced him to my boss and other folks in my unit and he loves to tell everyone that he got to hug a female major. He was old school and there were no female majors during WWII and so it was a great All American event! His name is Ralph and I have kept in touch through Christmas cards every year. He is such a great American and part of the greatest generation. He is having medical issues now but he loves his wife and he has such great outlook on life. When he gets my Christmas cards in March or June ( I am a late sender) he always takes the time to write me a personal note. His wife's health is declining and they have moved from their home in NY to live with his children in CT. He never complains and he is so positive. I am not sure what our country will be like without great Americans like Ralph but it made me smile to finally get a letter sent off to Ralph. Airborne!
On Wednesday I was not sure what I would do but one of the custodians at school brought in the uniform of one of my cadets. She had found the uniform stuffed in a locker and it had been there for a month. I knew whose uniform it was and the fact that it had been stuffed in a locker explained why she looked like she had worn it to bed at uniform inspection. She had not worn it this week because her boyfriend was one of the students thrown from the vehicle when it crashed. He was thrown from the vehicle but he was lucky enough to land in a ditch and he lived to see another day. Will was not so lucky and he died and my Cadet was good friends with Will. She was having a very tough week and trying to focus was close to impossible so when the custodian brought in her unifrom I thought, let me drop it off at the dry cleaners. Her mom lost her job so the dry cleaning cost is just one more thing. I dropped the uniform off and my plan is to leave it hanging in the closet in my classroom. I hope it might be something that helps her get her head back in the game while she works through the grieving process.
On Thursday I was coming home from swimming with the kids and I was supposed to drop two of the boys off at the gas station for pick up. As I was leaving the pool I thought I should drop the boys at home. Their mom is the one that does all the carpool planning for all of us and I thought it would be nice to say thank you in actions instead of simply in a note on email. We shot their mom a quick text and then delivered the boys to their front door instead of the car pool drop off point. I think it was a pleasant surprise and that made me feel good since their mom does so much for the kids and the weekly carpool planning. It was not a huge thing but it was a concious decision and it felt good.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Days 3 , 4 and 5 of Giving
I have to be honest and say that this is not quite as easy as I thought it would be but it is making me think and reflect on things that I do throughout the day. I went to sleep on Thursday trying to think of what I would do on Friday. I knew that I was going to have a crazy busy day and I knew if I did not have a plan then I would not get my good deed done. I decided that I needed to get gift cards for my children's swim coaches. I had been meaning to get them gifts for Christmas and I forgot and I kept saying that I would do it. I even told the kids I would do it and the days flew by and I did not get it done. You know what they say about good intentions and I was on that path with the coahes' gifts. I think it is important to remember that we don't really get credit for thinking about the nice things that we will do.....we get credit for what we do. I was able to get the gift cards (and got triple reward Kroger points for the money spent....a nice bonus) and Maggie and Trey wrote very nice notes on the gift cards. The kids were thrilled to give the gift cards and the coaches were tickled to get them.
It was a good thing to do and it reminds me that I need to do it more because coaches are critical in our children's lives. They mentor and teach so many things to our kids that they do not learn from other places. They teach the value of hard work and they develop a child's self esteem. Many times that coach is the one that is there to hear your child's problems because they need advice and may not want to ask mom or dad right away. They ask your kids to push themselves and praise them for their success and give feedback on their performance. They change lives and they do not get rich doing it. My swim coaches got me through some tough times, they listened when I cried, made me believe in myself and pushed me to levels I could not have achieved on my own. My children's coaches are doing the same thing for them so a gift card is not really enough but it is a token that says....thanks for all you do, I see it and my kids are growing under your guidance.
My 4th day of giving is a little more subtle and may come across as last minute but it came to me when as I was panicking at bed time. I ran a half marathon in the morning and I kept thinking that I would see someone out on the race course that needed some help or that I could do a good deed at the end of the race but nothing really fell into my lap and at the end of the race I was cold and not feeling very giving. Then on the drive home from the race I got a call saying that some of the students from my high school had been in a car accident. One student had died and the driver was being charged with DUI and vehicular manslaughter. My heart just broke for the students and their families. I wanted to call all of my cadets and say.....see this is why you have to be safe and make good choices. I received text messages from my cadets asking what we could do in honor of the student who died and I wondered myself. I then went on with the rest of the day as I was staying out of town with a great group of friends. We shopped and I think I did more giving to myself and that does not count for this Lenten Giving Project. Then I found myself ready for bed and "deedless" and it came to me....I would say a rosary for the boys in the accident. I have not said a true rosary in so many years and so I really felt that this was the right thing to do and it was what my grandmother would have done. I said a rosary and it reminded me that taking the time to pray is important and I should do it more often.I pray that the families find the strength to survive this tragedy.
Now it is Sunday my 5th day of giving and I am enjoying the chance to write about all of this and yet I am also finding that I really have to think about doing something nice for others. I do not think I am a bad person, but I find that so much of my day is spent trying to keep up that I miss the chance to do things for others (besides my kids of course). I certainly smile and say hello and I hold the door open for people but I don't always communicate that I appreciate people and all that they do for me or for the community or for my family. I think letting people know that they are noticed and appreciated is important. I think that making something better in someone else's life even if they do not directly affect your life is important.
That is what I tried to do today. I have too many things in my closet and I say that I will clear it out often. I have in fact cleared it out recently but the things usually make it as far as the guest room bed and there they sit. Today I went through all of it and pulled some more from other closets and I started to pack it into bags. I was thinking it would be easiest to put it all into bags for the Guardian Angel and then I could get a tax deduction and quickly get the bags out of the house. However, when I started to go through the pile I thought of several people that I could give some of the things to and I knew they would love and use them, I went through all of the items and packed two bags for the wonderful mom who drives the bus for my JROTC cadet events (she has lost a bunch of weight but does not have the extra funds for new better fitting clothes). two bags of books for my favorite second grade teacher's classroom and a bag of clothes for my friend with 13 kids (there is always someone in her crowd that fits what my guys outgrow). I also put some bras in a bag for the collection box at Soma because they say that bras are greatly needed by women who are in shelters or experiencing hard financial times. It would have been easier to put it all in bags and clear it out today but it feels better knowing that it will be used and enjoyed. I still sent eight bags to Guardian Angel but I feel really good about my other used gift bags.
It was a good thing to do and it reminds me that I need to do it more because coaches are critical in our children's lives. They mentor and teach so many things to our kids that they do not learn from other places. They teach the value of hard work and they develop a child's self esteem. Many times that coach is the one that is there to hear your child's problems because they need advice and may not want to ask mom or dad right away. They ask your kids to push themselves and praise them for their success and give feedback on their performance. They change lives and they do not get rich doing it. My swim coaches got me through some tough times, they listened when I cried, made me believe in myself and pushed me to levels I could not have achieved on my own. My children's coaches are doing the same thing for them so a gift card is not really enough but it is a token that says....thanks for all you do, I see it and my kids are growing under your guidance.
My 4th day of giving is a little more subtle and may come across as last minute but it came to me when as I was panicking at bed time. I ran a half marathon in the morning and I kept thinking that I would see someone out on the race course that needed some help or that I could do a good deed at the end of the race but nothing really fell into my lap and at the end of the race I was cold and not feeling very giving. Then on the drive home from the race I got a call saying that some of the students from my high school had been in a car accident. One student had died and the driver was being charged with DUI and vehicular manslaughter. My heart just broke for the students and their families. I wanted to call all of my cadets and say.....see this is why you have to be safe and make good choices. I received text messages from my cadets asking what we could do in honor of the student who died and I wondered myself. I then went on with the rest of the day as I was staying out of town with a great group of friends. We shopped and I think I did more giving to myself and that does not count for this Lenten Giving Project. Then I found myself ready for bed and "deedless" and it came to me....I would say a rosary for the boys in the accident. I have not said a true rosary in so many years and so I really felt that this was the right thing to do and it was what my grandmother would have done. I said a rosary and it reminded me that taking the time to pray is important and I should do it more often.I pray that the families find the strength to survive this tragedy.
Now it is Sunday my 5th day of giving and I am enjoying the chance to write about all of this and yet I am also finding that I really have to think about doing something nice for others. I do not think I am a bad person, but I find that so much of my day is spent trying to keep up that I miss the chance to do things for others (besides my kids of course). I certainly smile and say hello and I hold the door open for people but I don't always communicate that I appreciate people and all that they do for me or for the community or for my family. I think letting people know that they are noticed and appreciated is important. I think that making something better in someone else's life even if they do not directly affect your life is important.
That is what I tried to do today. I have too many things in my closet and I say that I will clear it out often. I have in fact cleared it out recently but the things usually make it as far as the guest room bed and there they sit. Today I went through all of it and pulled some more from other closets and I started to pack it into bags. I was thinking it would be easiest to put it all into bags for the Guardian Angel and then I could get a tax deduction and quickly get the bags out of the house. However, when I started to go through the pile I thought of several people that I could give some of the things to and I knew they would love and use them, I went through all of the items and packed two bags for the wonderful mom who drives the bus for my JROTC cadet events (she has lost a bunch of weight but does not have the extra funds for new better fitting clothes). two bags of books for my favorite second grade teacher's classroom and a bag of clothes for my friend with 13 kids (there is always someone in her crowd that fits what my guys outgrow). I also put some bras in a bag for the collection box at Soma because they say that bras are greatly needed by women who are in shelters or experiencing hard financial times. It would have been easier to put it all in bags and clear it out today but it feels better knowing that it will be used and enjoyed. I still sent eight bags to Guardian Angel but I feel really good about my other used gift bags.
Friday, February 15, 2013
40 days of giving for Lent
I am trying a new approach to doing in something for Lent. I have decided to focus on the positive and not on the negative. I am not going to give anything up but I am going to do something everyday. I am going to do something kind/nice/good//helpful everyday during Lent and I am going to write about it. Of course this is Friday so I will have to write about Ash Wednesday and Valentine's Day on this very first post. I did not come up with idea on my own but I am launching it based on the book I read called, "Thirty Days of Giving" and from a few articles I have read that talk about positive acts and positive energy. I am becoming a very firm believer that positive energy breeds positive energy and good feelings and I believe that we need more of both in this crazy world.
Day 1: Ash Wednesday. I lead a busy life and so it can be crazy to find the time to specifically do something nice because life is crazy. This is the excuse that we all use to ease our guilt. I did two small things on this first day of 40. I stopped swimming laps so that I could let the folks in the other lane know that they could share my lane. The pool was crowded and there was a swim lesson going on in their lane so they could not do laps. I am a very strong swimmer so I think they were nervous about asking to share my lane. I could have just kept swimming and waited for them to ask me but I stopped and offered to circle swim. It took no time at all and one of the swimmers jumped into my lane. It had no effect on my swim and he was able to get his laps done.....it was easy but it made me feel better. Then when I got home from swimming and I dropped off my kids I took a few minutes to talk to their step brother about his swimming. His mother had asked me to talk to him and I had not done it. I took the few minutes to give him a mini pep talk and some feedback on his stroke. I hope that it had a positive impact but I do not know at this point in time. I was worried about it being a little awkward since he is not my step son and his mom married my ex-husband but she had asked me to talk to him. I think it was a positive effort at multiple levels, one being the embracing of the modern family dynamic.
Day 2: Valentine's Day: This one is set up to be easier than a normal day since it is all about giving gifts. I gave Valentine's Day candy to my folks at Dunkin Donuts since they are always so pleasant and they give me the military discount without me even reminding them. They are efficient and pleasant and so I think that the candy made them smile. Then I helped my cadets give out candy/valentines to each and every member of the staff at Cleveland High School and I gave out candy to each of the cadets in the program. It was not required but it made people smile and they were still talking about the glitter being everywhere in the school. I think it can be a bad thing if we added glitter to every one's world.......everyone needs a little sparkle because it really makes you smile. I also mopped half of the cafeteria since some of the cadets were practicing for the evenings color guard and we were short handed. The mopping was a positive gesture but it got my blood boiling because the cafeteria was a bloody mess and it makes me crazy when people do not take care of their school/work environment. It is simply disrespectful. Overall the day was a good one and there was plenty of positive energy to spare.
Day 1: Ash Wednesday. I lead a busy life and so it can be crazy to find the time to specifically do something nice because life is crazy. This is the excuse that we all use to ease our guilt. I did two small things on this first day of 40. I stopped swimming laps so that I could let the folks in the other lane know that they could share my lane. The pool was crowded and there was a swim lesson going on in their lane so they could not do laps. I am a very strong swimmer so I think they were nervous about asking to share my lane. I could have just kept swimming and waited for them to ask me but I stopped and offered to circle swim. It took no time at all and one of the swimmers jumped into my lane. It had no effect on my swim and he was able to get his laps done.....it was easy but it made me feel better. Then when I got home from swimming and I dropped off my kids I took a few minutes to talk to their step brother about his swimming. His mother had asked me to talk to him and I had not done it. I took the few minutes to give him a mini pep talk and some feedback on his stroke. I hope that it had a positive impact but I do not know at this point in time. I was worried about it being a little awkward since he is not my step son and his mom married my ex-husband but she had asked me to talk to him. I think it was a positive effort at multiple levels, one being the embracing of the modern family dynamic.
Day 2: Valentine's Day: This one is set up to be easier than a normal day since it is all about giving gifts. I gave Valentine's Day candy to my folks at Dunkin Donuts since they are always so pleasant and they give me the military discount without me even reminding them. They are efficient and pleasant and so I think that the candy made them smile. Then I helped my cadets give out candy/valentines to each and every member of the staff at Cleveland High School and I gave out candy to each of the cadets in the program. It was not required but it made people smile and they were still talking about the glitter being everywhere in the school. I think it can be a bad thing if we added glitter to every one's world.......everyone needs a little sparkle because it really makes you smile. I also mopped half of the cafeteria since some of the cadets were practicing for the evenings color guard and we were short handed. The mopping was a positive gesture but it got my blood boiling because the cafeteria was a bloody mess and it makes me crazy when people do not take care of their school/work environment. It is simply disrespectful. Overall the day was a good one and there was plenty of positive energy to spare.
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